I’m told in older times there was a person charged with keeping the fire burning for the clan or village. If the fire went out, cold and darkness would set in making life even more dangerous. (Ever read Jack London’s To Build A Fire? It’s hard!)

So while the family slept, someone was appointed to slowly feed the burning embers so there would be fire for the next day.

In these days of social distancing and live-steamed Sunday masses, it seems to me there’s a danger of the fire of Faith growing cold. It’s not that we want it to. We love God and try to do what’s right . . . but it just happens. It’s easier to not do something. And not doing it . . . becomes a habit. (“Let’s see, should we get dressed and leave early tomorrow to be at mass on time? Or . . . should we sleep in and watch mass on TV. I’ll do the bacon and eggs.”)

With mass and communion now virtual for many, other things can fall away as well. Morning and evening prayer, weekday visits to the church for prayer, rosary?, but most importantly, a daily turning to God as the source of our life. Again . . . I want to stress, it’s not our intention to let go of God. It’s rather an “out of sight, out of mind” sort of thing.

So what can I do to keep the “flame of Faith alive”? Here’s some suggestions.

• Say your prayers in the morning. Google – – Catholic Prayers. Copy two or three you like best. Add your own thoughts and intentions. Get a routine.
• Keep up with live-streamed masses or religious programming when you are able.
• Learn the ancient practice of the “Angelus” at 6 am, noon, and 6 pm.
• Stop by during the week to visit Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. Holy Trinity is open all day. (Bring the children and grandchildren. They find it exciting to be with you on this “spiritual moment with God”. Let them light a candle.)
• Come to mass when you can. We are doing a good job of sanitizing the pews and keeping social distance.
• Please know that staying home is perfectly acceptable. Pray for the time when we can all be together.
• Read some spiritual book or examine some aspect of faith that has interested you. (next week I’ll include some books that have nourished my faith and you can write me with your favorites).
• Create a “Prayer Space” in your home. Choose a place away from traffic with a door you can close. Assure the family that no one is to knock when the door is closed. Make it nice. A comfortable chair and table with crucifix, candle or flower on it. Add a bible or some prayer cards.
• Say a brief prayer before bed. Whatever comes to your heart.
• Been to confession lately? Saturday 3:30 to 4:15 pm.

These are all things that can help keep God “on your radar”. Think of them as signs to God of your love and need for Him. However . . . and this is important . . . the Holy Spirit will come to you with thoughts and words and impulses that will show you God’s path. “It was not you who chose me, but I have chosen you,” Jesus said (John 15:16). But, we must do our part so that the fire of faith does not go dim.

With love,
Fr. Tim

Not to sound overly dramatic, but I don’t see how any human being can stay faithful to a life promise (marriage, priesthood, doctor, president, pope) without at some time “saying a prayer”.

I think of my priesthood. Oh, I could have stayed a priest without praying, I guess. The perks are pretty good (free room and board, heated garage, pretty vestments). But without prayer, over time you become a shell of a priest, just going through the motions.

Husbands and wives, you know this too; anyone who tries to commit themselves to a project or a promise sooner or later runs out of gas. The promise you made way back now seems impossible or perhaps in your frustration it appears “unimportant”. “Why should I spend anymore sweat and tears on this darned thing that never seems to get any better?” Been there?

So why is prayer the answer to being “out of gas”? Because it reconnects us to the source of love and faithfulness . . . God. It takes us out of our empty, exhausted, defeated selves and lets us become children again. It lets us experience our neediness without embarrassment. Prayer calls out to God, who Himself has promised to watch over and help us in our times of trouble and emptiness.

“Come to me,” Jesus said, “All you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28) “Pour out your hearts to the Lord.” (Psalm 62) “Your Father in heaven knows your need, even before you ask.” (Mt. 6:8).

So it’s been a long time. I’ve been away from my childhood religion. I feel like I’m lost in a forest; how do I start praying like an adult? Do I rattle off a couple Our Fathers and Hail Mary’s? Okay. That’s a start. But there is so much more.

Here’s a couple thoughts that will help get you started.

• Gratitude is a wonderful way to get you in the right attitude for praying. No matter what your current mood may be there are some things in your life that “you just know”. (For example, I know my mother loved me. I know my father’s advice about hard work has proved itself time and again.) And I know in the same way there was a time that God answered my prayer OR at least I’m aware He has blessed me with a gift I could never even imagined by myself. Even on a crummy day this thought lifts my spirit. Gratitude. It works every time.
• Once you’re feeling a little gratitude, it leads to a moment of Trust. “You’ve helped me in the past Lord. So I turn to you now, please . . .”Trust that He will catch you as He has in your past.
• Finally there’s the little matter of Surrender. Remember Jesus in the Garden? His whole world was collapsing. What was his prayer (after telling God his own wishes)? “Not my will, but yours (God) be done.”

All this points to prayer as a moment of personal speaking to God who “sees (and hears) you in secret” Mt. 6:6. It ought not rattle on with fancy or churchy words. (When the building is burning, “Fire!” is all you have to say).

Just speak from your heart, “Thank you Lord for the time when . . .” “Dear God you know what happened, please help me . . .” OR just . . . “Help Lord.”

• Now just sit a minute. Don’t do anything. Like you’re on your porch listening to the evening breeze. Look out your window, whatever.
• Lastly. Pay attention to the conversations and events of the week. They often contain God’s surprising answer to our prayers.

This brief conversation with God needs to happen everyday or as often as you can make it happen. If you do this for a while you will begin to experience in a wonderfully vague way(!) God’s presence with you.

Enjoy this glorious month of August!
Fr. Tim

I mentioned to you some time ago that it’s taken me a long time to understand, in a personal way, Mary (The Blessed Mother) and her role in my life.

To be sure I’m properly educated in what the Church teaches about Mary, she is: Mother of Jesus and Mother of God and Mother of the Church. She is Our Lady of the Rosary, Mother of Sorrows, Immaculate Conception etc..

I believe all these things. And that’s the way it’s been for most of my life . . . I know what the Church teaches about Mary, but it’s been on a theological level. She’s been someone to study; a holy woman who did a great job with her son Jesus. But that was all long ago.

What’s been missing is a personal relationship with her. I always thought that was for me and Jesus. (I didn’t want to go to Mary when I could go right to her son.) In other words what does Mary have to do with me? Can I talk with her? Does she know who I am? Can she teach me what I need to know? Will friendship with her take away from friendship with Christ?

So for years I ignored Mary.

Then it happened. I was praying on retreat one night in chapel. Sitting in the silence for some days had become quite frustrating and I had grown increasingly restless.

For a reason I can only call God’s grace, it suddenly came to my imagination that someone was kneeling in the dark up by the tabernacle. My thought then led me to consider that it was Mary, praying as she had that day at the foot of the cross. (This is called “meditation” in the spiritual books).

Being the “wise guy”, I decided to challenge this woman and in my mind (or perhaps out loud, I can’t remember), I said to her, “Your son is awfully quiet tonight.”

At this moment I can only remember her face, partially covered with her veil, turning slightly and with a smile that was fresh and young and confident, she said: “Don’t worry. He knows you’re here.” All questions stopped. There was no need for further conversation. “Mary, if He knows I’m here that’s all that matters. Thanks.” The chapel returned as it was, dark and empty.

What had just happened? As I say, it was a grace. God gave me something to think and feel. (I don’t think Mary was physically in the chapel that night!) But the real gift was what followed in the days after.

I was given to realize that for all her exulted titles, Mary was my “prayer partner”. She prays with me. And she prays with much greater clarity about God’s will for me than I do. Her smile that night in chapel continues to tell me that as quiet as Christ seems in my life – he is with me and it pleases him that I want to be with him as well.

Lastly, and best of all, I now have Mary to “take things to Jesus for me”. I figure hey, if she is so certain he’s with us, then she knows his mind better than I do.

This is not , as I once feared, taking away from Jesus. In fact, Mary intensifies our relationship with Christ. What she adds is her “partnering” with me. I’m not alone in this sometimes confusing search for God in my life. Most times I begin my prayer straight to Jesus or God the Fa- ther. But I try at some point to include a little word to Mary my “prayer partner”. “What should I tell your son Mary?” “Tell Jesus I want to love Him more.”

“Don’t worry.” She says. “He knows you’re here.” God is good.
Fr. Tim

PS. The Catholic Faith has always taught these things about Mary. I’m just late for the party!

(Previously posted on November 6, 2016).

Please don’t leave. Let’s talk.

We all have strong feelings here. Some support the summer long demonstrations for an end to racism in the law enforcement community; some are in opposition to a movement that has brought looting and violence here in Rochester and in cities around the county and the world.

So why bring it up? Aren’t there enough problems out there to deal with without talking about an issue that divides so many of us?

A couple reasons I think.

1. Looking away only keeps the problem festering.
2. We’re a people of hope. We never give up striving to let love win.

So briefly . . . let’s look at both sides.

(I went to the BLM website and discovered that it had morphed from a “movement” to combat racial injustice by law enforcement, to an “organization” that now espouses causes contrary to Catholic teaching about gender and family. What follows is a description of the movement NOT the organization.)

There is a different experience of life if you are a person of color in this country. I don’t think there’s a black person over the age of 13 that hasn’t experienced some form of discrimination (however slight) that has never occurred to me as a white person. I’ve never . . .

• Had the cops called on me for walking in a strange neighborhood.
• Been called “suspicious” because of the clothes I wear.
• Had my name or hair ridiculed for being “different”.
• Had my intelligence doubted because of my color.
• Watched people wrap themselves in a flag that championed my people’s slavery 150 years ago.
• Been told a house I’m interested in has already been sold – – when it hasn’t.
• Seen video’s of suspect white men being choked to death as they begged to be allowed to breathe.
• Been told, as an Irishman, to go back to where my people came from.

Space doesn’t allow for hundreds more examples. The net result is, over time (like 200 years), a deep seated anger and resentment. Like a volcano it eventually blows.

Okay. Now the other side . . .

• What about the lawlessness, looting and gun fire that accompanies Black Lives Matter protests? Doesn’t that indicate a criminal component?
• What about the disrespect, taunting, and rock throwing endured by lawful authority that’s trying to save the very neighborhoods the protesters live in?
• How could we possibly “defund” law enforcement when 99% of officers only want to “serve and protect”?
• What about the “outside agitators” that come to town using the protests to just cause trouble?
• Why isn’t the movement called “All Lives Matter”? Don’t we all count equally here? If blacks don’t want to be “profiled” or set apart, doesn’t the movement make a certain race “special” in a way that creates reverse discrimination?

So what do you think?

By the way, I don’t imagine I’ve captured the full picture of either side. Each bullet point can be nuanced to be more accurate. I’ve tried to be as fair as I can, listening to conversations about town and watching all the news channels (we’re news junkies in the rectory).

But weighing the points on both sides, I’m wondering – – – Isn’t there a guiding light to lead us through the loud voices on both sides? I think there are. Two in fact. They’re called Justice and her sister Love; they are graces, come from God, to guide our life here on earth. They unite us as children of God.

Can we not find a way to attend to the wounded cry of the black community? (There’s been real injustice here.). Can we not support Law Enforcement in their mission to “serve and protect”? I think we can.

But it’s going to require we listen to each other; that we put away the “knee jerk” reaction we use to end discussion and protect our opinions. Most of all we can’t close our eyes to this just because it’s unpleasant.

Talk to your children. Get them to express themselves about this. This is important. Children must be challenged to see Christ’s way in this matter. Can we say a prayer at dinner or bedtime that asks God’s help?

“Lord Jesus, help us to see your face in all your people. And to love as you have loved us.”

With Love,
Fr. Tim

PS. Next week let’s talk about our favorite ice cream!

We hear that phrase all the time these days. Things we never gave a second thought to: hand-shakes, dinner out, singing at mass, have all changed in these days. We’re discovering a new way to carry out everyday activities . . . behavior that becomes a new normal.

Looking back over my life and I find I’ve lived through several new normals. Things that were normal “back then” seem rather strange and austere. See if you did these things and thought nothing of it.

• I’m embarrassed to say this but back in Ohio as kids we would shower once a week (Saturday night) and quickly so as to “save hot water”.
• Pop, as we called it, was for birthdays and Christmas. The bottles were 7 oz’s.
• Tooth paste was a squeeze the size of a green pea on your brush. Again, to save tooth paste.
• Aluminum foil was to be used and folded neatly for the next time.
• Holes in socks got “darned”.
• Lingering on the phone more than a minute or two was deemed decadent – – – “Someone may be trying to call us!” (This was particularly painful in the teen years when “first loves” started blossoming).
• You’d fill up on bread and gravy when the meat and potatoes ran out.
• If you couldn’t pay cash, you wouldn’t buy it.
• Mowing the yard was not a sit down job.
• A summer job could pay a big part of college tuition. I know you’ve seen these look-back stories before. I’m sure you have your own memories of what was just the normal way of doing things. The point is simple – – these last 50 years have seen an unprecedented growth in personal wealth and expectations for the future. We thought this would go on forever.

But now we are beginning to experience limits to our prosperity and an unprecedented interruption of life in the current pandemic. It causes some anxiety. Statewide shut-downs and social distancing over Covid, unemployment almost tripling since March, mask wearing required most everywhere, remote learning for children this fall, all begin to create a new way of living. We’re still searching for some new routine we can call normal.

So what does one do? So many things are changing.

I’m no expert here. I’m dealing with these things just like you are. But . . . it seems to me it would help if we adjusted our old expectations to embrace the new situations. Expect things like:

• People being grumpier. We don’t know how hard their day has been. Let’s cut them some slack. Smile.
• Voices telling us we’ll never recover the “good old days”. (Probably true. But that doesn’t mean we’re headed for the “bad new days.” We might even become better people through all this.)
• People giving easy solutions to complex problems. Things like, “put ‘em all in jail.” Or, “Just vote Democratic (or Republican), that’ll fix things.” Or, “This is a free country. Nobody can tell me to . . . “ We have to learn to live together. To sacrifice, to listen to others, to wait so answers can emerge.

Lastly it helps to hear what Jesus said about uncertain times. (Read Matthew 7:24-27). Two people built their house. One built on a foundation of rock. The other put his house on sand. The winds blew and the rains came down. One house stood strong, the other, built on sand was washed away.

The lesson? Hard times came ON BOTH HOUSES. Neither was spared. But the one who had built on rock (God’s word) and took the time to drive the footers deep into God’s way of life – – that one stood the test.

Bless your house.

FR. Tim

I wrote some time ago that I’d be sharing some reflections on “life” and “faith” and “culture” from some really smart and holy persons. I’ve failed to do that!

So here’s a reboot of that promise called “Spiritual Masters”.

Here are two little passages from The Essence of Prayer by Ruth Burrows OCD. We so often think of God as infinite in power, all knowing, with holiness unbounded. Here she describes God as having a self-sacrificing nature as part of His very being. Wonderfully shocking when you think about it.

We stand in awe of the self-sacrificing ‘folly’ of God’s love for us. When God becomes human (Jesus) it is as the sacrificed one, the one who lays down his life in love. “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” (Jn 14.9) Can we not say God sacrificed Himself in creating the world and becoming our God?

It is as if self–sacrifice – which, after all, is the law of all genuine love – lies in the depths of the Divine Reality who is Love.

To be taken into that Love, to live with the life of God, must mean that sacrifice becomes our way of being too. God loved the world so much that he held nothing back from us, not even his own Son. P. 84

If we want to know God, we must look at Jesus crucified. We must gaze and gaze, not so much on the suffering, but on a love that is absolute. This is God; this is what God is really like. P. 46

Then . . . daily, secretly in prayer, in the gray simple moments of everyday life, we let that sacrificial love that is God, be our way of living too.

That “foolish” Love of God is poured out on us at every moment but most especially in the Eucharist when God takes our offering of bread and wine (a representation of ourselves) and returns to us His crucified and risen Son—which is the Father’s love for us.

Fr. Tim

PS. Spend some time with this. Feelings may not be there. That’s okay. Just say “Amen” …..and mean it!!

Pictures, as the saying goes, are worth a thousand words. Whether it’s about “a feeling” or “an idea” or “something we believe in”, it helps to get a picture in our mind that captures the essence of what we’re thinking about.

So, I was thinking the other day of what the faith teaches about “the effects of Original Sin”. You remember Original Sin, right? In the mythic story, Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s command to refrain from eating the fruit of that tree. It’s the God inspired picture of an event no one was there to record. It is a great mystery.

The catechism tells us that one of the effects of Original Sin has been the wounding of our human nature. That means the creature, man, made in God’s image, has forfeited his original holiness and justice and “is wounded in the natural powers proper to it.” (reason and will) (Catholic Catechesis #405). In short, we suffer ignorance about who we are, and in this ignorance we are inclined to sin. This leaning toward sin is called “concupiscence”.

So, here’s my picture. See if this makes any sense. . . . I had an old VW “bug” way back in college. Great little vehicle – started up every time. One problem, it was out of alignment. Driving down the road, if you let go of the wheel, before long it would pull left and take you into the oncoming lane. It wouldn’t happen all at once, but you could feel a leaning. Like the car had a mind of its own, it pulled you into the other lane. To counteract this you had to drive with the wheel pegged to the right. This would keep the car in the proper lane heading straight.

It is the same with us humans. If we let go of the wheel, if we don’t take control over the direction of our lives, we eventually “pull into the wrong lane”.

Each of us experience this pull in our own way. (The classic “pulls” are called the Capital Sins – pride, envy, anger, gluttony, lust, jealousy and sloth). What’s yours?!!

The church’s teaching about the effects of Original Sin makes great sense. It’s a pull, an inclination. Going our own way, without God’s will to guide us, sooner or later we fall. Everyone sins.

Don’t be shocked that you have this tendency to sin – – – everybody has it (except Jesus and Mary – but that’s another story!) We’re in a battle. Be ready to fight. Some battles we win; some we lose. But, we don’t give up the fight.

The good news is that we’ve got the power to overcome this misalignment. God comes to our help here with the grace of the Holy Spirit empowering us to chose God’s way. But we have to do our part too. We need to be aware of the pull “and keep our hands on the wheel”!!

Pray and recognize your tendency. Ask God to help correct your alignment and the strength to avoid the places and things that approach you with their familiar enticements.

Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to keep in the proper lane. A priest might be able to help you here. Certainly the Sacrament of Penance/Reconciliation (Confession) is a great source of strength and realignment.

Lastly, do really fun things. The devil hates it when people can laugh at themselves and share friendship with others who are keeping their hands on the wheel.

Please enjoy this summer. God will be pleased if we celebrate this wonderful gift.

Fr. Tim

(This article was previously posted on August 20, 2017)

“It is not good for man to be alone.” These remarkable words are spoken by God in the Book of Genesis as he seeks for a way to brighten things for a sad and lonely Adam. So God creates Eve, and she and Adam became “partners”.

Problem solved? For awhile. But then it happened. Our first parents chose to walk away from God who created them. And that’s when the sadness and loneliness of life settled in. They can no longer look at each other. They take up wearing leaves to hide their nakedness.

Loneliness is born. Oh dear.

There’s a tear in our hearts. We want to connect with others, but who is there we can trust to know us completely. (Haven’t many of us at some time assumed we’d found “Mr. or Ms. Wonderful”? Finally, we meet someone who is endlessly fascinating and fun and who delights in our every thought. How soon we discover they (and we) are not as perfect as we thought.)

Do you begin to see the peaceful co-existence of the world’s peoples hangs on the common conviction that we are created and saved by God who calls us His children? Without the assurance of the love of God, upholding creation and calling humanity to Himself, we’re left with a profound mistrust of one another.

Not even friend, lover, husband or wife will put to rest our craving for love and completion in this broken world. God created the human creature whose ultimate purpose is to know and love our Creator. He is our ALL.

So what do we do? Here’s where people can get lost. Some people will medicate their loneliness (food, alcohol, pills, etc.). Some will try to fill it with people and constant activity. Some go shopping! Why not travel?

Why not accept your loneliness? It’s part of life. It goes along with all the other moments humans experience. “There is a season and a time for every purpose. A time to be born, a time to die, a time to laugh, a time to weep” . . . . . . a time to be lonely”.

In fact, loneliness can add an unexpected blessing in our lives. It can force us to know ourselves, to truly embrace who we are (the good and the bad, the happy and sad). We stop running away from ourselves. Being alone is not so bad. (Maybe you’ve learned a little of this in these days of Covid isolation).

Best of all, loneliness can invite me to reach out to God in prayer. To confide in God what you’d speak to no other . . . . knowing that he hears and understands all of you.

Do you know who the loneliest guy in the world is? It has to be Jesus.

Who on earth could possibly understand who he was? Who could ever know the weight his mission placed on his shoulders? What must have been his loneliness in the garden that terrible night? Who could ever comfort Jesus?

But he was never alone for he knew his Father. (How often the scripture refers to Jesus spending the night alone in prayer to his Father “who sees in secret”.)

Lonely? Of course. Embrace it. Make friends with it (“Sister Loneliness”, St. Francis might say). You’ll be surprised how it will make you a better person; it can make you aware of the loneliness of others. It’s called compassion.

Last thought. There’s no loneliness in heaven. God will permeate every speck of our being. “For now we see as through a glass darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part, but then I shall know even as I am known.” 1 Cor.13:12.

God sees you . . . and loves you.

Fr. Tim

I keep coming back to a human experience that I think holds the key to understanding who we are as a human species. It is the experience of “wonder”.

Think of it, scientific knowledge, as wonderful as it is, is in the end “about things”. Science tells me an apple is a red, yellow or green sphere of cellulose, permeated with sugar and water; or ice cream, “a food consisting of cream, butter fat, sweetener and frozen”.

Does this Webster Dictionary description tell us what vanilla ice cream really is? Of course not. Human knowledge, to be more than stored computer facts, is experiential. You have to taste vanilla to understand it.

And here’s where the “wonder” part comes in. The most important human experiences elude scientific description; we say things like “you have to see it for yourself”. Some things, (the Milky Way in the night sky, a new born baby, the death of a lifelong friend, or my own mortality), present a moment that is beyond our ability to fully understand and leaves us in a state of shock and “wonder”.

The Psalms are full of this mysterious sense. “Oh Lord, how awesome is your name through all the earth! / You have set your majesty above the heavens!/ When I see the heavens, the work of your hands/ the moon and stars that you set in place/. . . how awesome is your name through all the earth!” Psalm 8

Psalm 139 echoes this same moment of wonder and awe . . . “Such knowledge is beyond me, too lofty for me to reach . . . How precious are your designs O God; how vast the sum of them. / Were I to count them, to finish I would need eternity.”

Fear and reverence accompany such experiences. We meet face to face a truth that is real but beyond our ability to fully comprehend. It overwhelms us with its mysterious presence.

Such a moment came to me at age 19. I had tickets to an outdoor summer concert by the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra. Its world renowned concert director, George Szell, had just died. There at mid-stage was placed the empty Maestro’s chair.

Before some 8,000 rapt concert goers, with the sun setting on a soft summer night, the orchestra (without conductor) played the soulful strains of Bach’s Air on a G String in his honor. Something happened to me and I think to many in the crowd that night.

All I can say is, I was overwhelmed by “beauty”. And I mean beauty on a thousand different levels: The music transcendent, the new grass all around, the man (now gone) who created this magnificent orchestra, but still present as his musicians played, the thousands of people, silent and in rapped attention . . . and me, feeling 19, and ready to change the world.

It was a moment. We were all plugged into something that I can only describe as JOY. Something bigger and sweeter and more powerful than any one of us. We were together, but each of us still ourselves. And, we all “looked and saw how good it was”. Can we say Heaven was there for a moment? I can; at least a hint of heaven.

So what’s the point to all this “wonder” stuff? Quite simply these moments are the foothills of God. Children waken to these hills every day. Everything is fresh and full of wonder. They hold that key to who we are . . . the creature that can know and love the Lord.

What’s happened to us? Somehow we’ve lost the eyes to see and the ears to hear. We fill our senses with far lesser beauty. Our cell phones and computers, as wonderful inventions as they are, “reality TV” replaces real life with its wondrous joys and sorrows.

Is there a remedy? Of course there is. Prayer.

Every day. “Lord I want to see your face, your presence.” He knows your need. Ask Him.

Fr. Tim

It’s human nature to want to be recognized, set apart, or seen as unique. We take great efforts to insure this happens throughout our life beginning with the very names we give to our children. Names are chosen to honor the child with the memory of some loved one who has gone before them.

With our special names we set out to make our mark in the world. As kids we decorate our bikes with streamers and flashing lights. We start to develop our own “style”. The haircut we get, our favorite color, the shirt we like.

Certain music talks to us. Certain entertainers or sports figures become our heroes. We decorate our homes, lockers, offices, all in such a way as to say “this is me”.

Why do we do this? Because we need to be noticed, appreciated. No one has ever existed in earth like you. This is something to be celebrated . . . this wonderful you. Parents, isn’t this your goal with your children? To raise happy, confident young persons who know who they are and what gifts they bring to the world? Of course.

But . . . . . . .

We must be careful here. Why is each human “special”? It comes from God making us in His image and from those who pour their love into us (parents, family, friends). To them we are special. As for the world . . . we happen to be just one of what?, six billion human beings living on this earth.

My point is “being special” comes from being who God made us to be and from being loved. Everyone needs to be loved. Where things can go wrong is thinking the world owes me love in the form of fun and excitement and boundless opportunity . . because “I’m special”.

I’m afraid we’re raising children in such a way that when life deals disappointment and heartache (and it certainly does), when the world turns cold and could care less about how unique they are, our young ones feel like they’ve been tricked. “This is not the world you told me I was entitled to!”

“This is hard. The world is not respecting me and my plans for life. Don’t they know “I’m special?”

This is where unhappiness happens for millions of people in our country. Life just didn’t turn out the way they thought. Somehow happiness was just supposed to hap- pen.

No thought was given to how you deal with failure and disappointment. They are given no concept of life as “struggle”, no resource to deal with life’s setbacks.

So what do many do? Some of the options available are:

1. Get bitter. Life stinks and my mission in life, my contribution, is to let everyone know how unfair life is. Be a “bitter realist”
2. Blame someone or something else for your problems. It’s the government, the school system, the coach, the current administration, the job market, etc.
3. Drop out. Just stop trying. What’s the use? The world doesn’t care that I’m special, so why should I try? “I didn’t ask to be born.”

Parents, grandparents, here’s how you can help. Teach your children that life is real and earnest. It’s not a cake walk. You will teach them everything they need to succeed but only by their efforts will they carve their own path through life.

Yes, sometimes life is not fair. But strangely enough it’s in these moments when the wonderful virtue of CHARACTER happens. (The quality that comes when you keep trying in the face of disappointment, when you re- fuse to give in to bitterness and name calling).

Yes, you are special; not because you’re smart or cute or athletic or popular or funny or charming . . . it’s because God made you and put His image in you and wants you to love Him and everybody else till we see God in the “Great Wow” yet to come.

Oh Summertime ……………. Thank you Lord. Fr. Tim