Praying Like an Adult. How to Start.

Praying Like an Adult

Not to sound overly dramatic, but I don’t see how any human being can stay faithful to a life promise (marriage, priesthood, doctor, president, pope) without at some time “saying a prayer”.

I think of my priesthood. Oh, I could have stayed a priest without praying, I guess. The perks are pretty good (free room and board, heated garage, pretty vestments). But without prayer, over time you become a shell of a priest, just going through the motions.

Husbands and wives, you know this too; anyone who tries to commit themselves to a project or a promise sooner or later runs out of gas. The promise you made way back now seems impossible or perhaps in your frustration it appears “unimportant”. “Why should I spend anymore sweat and tears on this darned thing that never seems to get any better?” Been there?


So why is prayer the answer to being “out of gas”? Because it reconnects us to the source of love and faithfulness . . . God. It takes us out of our empty, exhausted, defeated selves and lets us become children again. It lets us experience our neediness without embarrassment. Prayer calls out to God, who Himself has promised to watch over and help us in our times of trouble and emptiness.

“Come to me,” Jesus said, “All you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28) “Pour out your hearts to the Lord.” (Psalm 62) “Your Father in heaven knows your need, even before you ask.” (Mt. 6:8).


So it’s been a long time. I’ve been away from my childhood religion. I feel like I’m lost in a forest; how do I start praying like an adult? Do I rattle off a couple Our Fathers and Hail Mary’s? Okay. That’s a start. But there is so much more.

Here’s a couple thoughts that will help get you started.

  • Gratitude is a wonderful way to get you in the right attitude for praying. No matter what your current mood may be there are some things in your life that “you just know”. (For example, I know my mother loved me. I know my father’s advice about hard work has proved itself time and again.) And I know in the same way there was a time that God answered my prayer OR at least I’m aware He has blessed me with a gift I could never even imagined by myself. Even on a crummy day this thought lifts my spirit. Gratitude. It works every time.
  • Once you’re feeling a little gratitude, it leads to a moment of Trust. “You’ve helped me in the past Lord. So I turn to you now, please . . .”Trust that He will catch you as He has in your past.
  • Finally there’s the little matter of Surrender. Remember Jesus in the Garden? His whole world was collapsing. What was his prayer (after telling God his own wishes)? “Not my will, but yours (God) be done.”

All this points to prayer as a moment of personal speaking to God who “sees (and hears) you in secret” Mt. 6:6. It ought not rattle on with fancy or churchy words. (When the building is burning, “Fire!” is all you have to say).

Just speak from your heart, “Thank you Lord for the time when . . .” “Dear God you know what happened, please help me . . .” OR just . . . “Help Lord.”

  • Now just sit a minute. Don’t do anything. Like you’re on your porch listening to the evening breeze. Look out your window, whatever.
  • Lastly. Pay attention to the conversations and events of the week. They often contain God’s surprising answer to our prayers.

This brief conversation with God needs to happen everyday or as often as you can make it happen. If you do this for a while you will begin to experience in a wonderfully vague way(!) God’s presence with you.

Praying like a chipmunk

Enjoy this glorious month of August!
Fr. Tim

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