Do you remember some of the things you used to do over and over as a kid? Little, personal and sometimes quirky activities that you’d do when things got boring or you started getting nervous?
Some children would suck their thumb. Some might bite their finger nails. Maybe you had a special blanket you would take everywhere. (Later in life my father and I battled cigarettes (I still struggle!). We call repeated actions habits; we do them without thinking. They relieve tension or anxiety and bring a mild pleasure or calming effect.
Some habits are healthy and benefit people whenever they do them. “That’s a good habit to get into,” we say. (Brush your teeth/eat your vegetables.) Other repeated actions can hurt us or others. These are bad habits. Some are bad (e.g. Lying) because the act itself is bad. We call these “sinful habits”. Others are bad because they go too far (“Too much” of anything is a bad habit) or not far enough (sloth, or carelessness) in doing the right thing.
So . . . what’s the point? It’s simple. Get in the habit of doing good things. How? All habits begin with Repetition. Doing something again and again will bring a certain ease of performance. A good thing, once rather hard to perform (choosing not to gossip) can, with repetition, become easier. Parents, I can’t stress this enough for your children. “Repetition” of good actions is essential to finding a path to true happiness in life.
Our bodies themselves bear witness to this. Sit-ups/push-ups (yuk!) become easier with repetition. It’s really no different for our spiritual lives. Repetition makes for habit. Habit makes for virtue (an abiding strength). Virtue leads to happiness. Want to be happy? Keep on doing good. Simple eh?!
Let’s take matters of sexuality. I don’t think anyone of us is immune to the “sinful habit” that can develop in our thoughts or actions as we confront lustful images or impulses that exist within us and around us.
There is a “good habit” that can defeat this lustful impulse. It’s called “custody of the eyes”. It refers to a mental readiness to turn away from seeing things that we know go beyond “just seeing” to become “lusting”. It’s kind of like being nosy . . . with our eyes.
Here’s how it goes. Our eyes want to see everything. Some things are not ours to see (or show). We need to have a mental readiness to turn away from things we “ought not see”. (Be ready to change the channel, look away, find something else to focus on.) We do this because it carries a respect for that person. Repeated ways of acting in this way we call “modesty” and become a habit leading to the virtue of “purity”.
(Purity has gotten a bad wrap in our culture. It’s seen as prudishness or a “holier-than-thou” attitude, or even a certain fearfulness of sex. Not so! Purity is a veneration of the person as a vessel of the Holy Spirit. God dwells in each of us and therefore we are each worthy of love . . . not lust.)
The point here is to make clear these virtuous states don’t “just happen”. In fact, when left to nature, the opposite happens. Lust grows, not purity. Rumor, not truth. Selfishness, not generosity. It’s part of our fallen human nature that this tendency exists.
Let’s develop “habits of love”, actions of reverence for others and ourselves motivated by the knowledge of who we are . . . God’s beloved children. This friends is the way to JOY.
Everyone of us, God’s Children – no exceptions.
Bless your heart.
Fr. Tim
PS. A great habit? Morning prayer.
