I’m thinking of a spiritual lesson I’ve had to learn over and over in my life. It’s the simple fact that God wants all of me.
What do we mean when we say “all of me” (all of you)? Think of our many parts . . . our mind and its reasoning, our memory, our desires, our freedom, our work, talents, relationships etc. All these are gifts from God to be used in a loving “dominion” over this world. But he wants us to do it in partnership with him.
The problem is I don’t want a senior partner, I want to be in charge. After all . . . these habits are mine. I’ve spent a lifetime developing my routine: bedtime, cocktail, personal time, a hobby, etc., all these are mine. I’ll do what I want with them. Again . . . it’s the “I’m the Boss” thing.
So God is patient. He lets us have our way. However it has profound effects in our relationship with Him. I don’t know about you, but every time I take free reign of my life, with no concern for God’s will . . . things get muddy. (Look at the frustration people are beginning to ex- press as we Shelter in Place. We forget the common good and start to see our private lives threatened . . . “What no haircuts?!!” . . . “I gotta wear a mask?!!”, “This is not Freedom!”)
It’s weird. I start out wanting a little “life for myself”. And guess what? I start to discover there’s a growing part of me that doesn’t want God interfering with my habits at all.
Look what’s happened to God. God becomes “the Law”, the cop in my rearview mirror. A kill joy, someone to fear or at least avoid. This, friends, is the effect of original sin in us. God is someone to flee.
Poor God. How we twist things about Him. How we make Him out to be some grumpy boss who loves to order people around. Our vision of life slowly changes. Happiness is something to be grasped by ourselves. God is someone to flee. Adam and Eve hid themselves.
So what went wrong? We did. We failed to give God everything. Call it what you want . . . mistrust, selfishness, pride, arrogance . . . it’s all the same. Quietly God calls to us but we’re not in the mood to listen. We’ve forgotten something very important.
We’ve forgotten that God loves us. We’ve forgotten, that in creating us out of nothing, He knows us better than we know ourselves. And it’s from the love that thought us up, we receive His will. And, get this, God’s will is our true happiness! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve begged God for a particular outcome to a problem only to discover God’s eventual answer was even better, smarter, cleaner, kinder!
St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, prayed this prayer (The Suscipe) for God to have all of him. Praying this is like closing your eyes and falling into the arms of God. See what you think.
O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess, Thou hast given me: I surrender it all to Thee to be disposed of according to Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace; with these I will be rich enough and will desire nothing more. Amen.
Still working on that “smile” thing. How about you?
Fr. Tim
